Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
jump out the window naked night went bad
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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