No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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