Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
