i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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