All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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