ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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