i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
