Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
