Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Couch. On fire.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
