I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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