If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
