you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
