I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
