we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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