The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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