it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
