We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
