just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
