Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
