as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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