Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
