Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
