She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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