Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
