we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
