chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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