He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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