i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
