:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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