I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
