i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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