what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
