Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
