Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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