My room smells like vodka and shame
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
