No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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