he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
