Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
