i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
