It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Say something about gay babies.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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