just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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