Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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