WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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