I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
