Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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