i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
what day is it and did you see me today?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
