...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
