I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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