I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
