New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
