New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
