He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
